medium: mixed (photography, poetry, gif animation)
size: 50x70cm
This artwork is a representation of dealing with one's own unfulfilled expectations. It's a portrait, taken in the place I find the most peaceful of all - shoreline of the Baltic Sea during winter. It's quiet and calm, yet so impetuous and wild at the same time. The atmosphere has caused me to write the poem, inspired by the poem "Whaif" by Shel Silverstein. The anxieties I described in the poem are mainly caused by the expectations everyone has for me. Probably the biggest struggle in my life so far is fitting in society. I always felt like an outcast, because everyone expected me to be "something".
Ta grafika jest reprezentacjÄ… radzenia sobie z wÅ‚asnymi niespeÅ‚nionymi oczekiwaniami. To portret wykonany w miejscu, które uważam za najspokojniejsze ze wszystkich - na wybrzeżu BaÅ‚tyku zimÄ…. Jest cichy i spokojny, a jednoczeÅ›nie tak porywczy i dziki. Atmosfera zmusiÅ‚a mnie do napisania wiersza, zainspirowanego wierszem „Whaif” Shela Silversteina. Niepokoje, które opisaÅ‚em w wierszu, wynikajÄ… gÅ‚ównie z oczekiwaÅ„, jakie wszyscy majÄ… wobec mnie. Prawdopodobnie najwiÄ™ksza walka w moim życiu dotyczy dopasowania siÄ™ do spoÅ‚eczeÅ„stwa. Zawsze czuÅ‚am siÄ™ jak wyrzutek, bo wszyscy oczekiwali, że bÄ™dÄ™ „kimÅ›”.
What if I fail again?
What if I don’t fit in?
What if I come there late?
What if they realise I can't handle such simple things as life?
What if all my dreams and plans scattered like they’re made of glass?
What if it ends at the cans and can'ts?
What if I can’t find the will to live the life everyone wants me to?
What if it only gets worse?
What if life can't ever change?
What if pain never goes away?
What if I just disappeared?
What if I don't come tonight?
What if it all could end right here,
where waves calm down my deepest fears?
What if it's too late to think?
​
What if I just lay
and sink.